You may be Polish if...;)

1. You or someone in your family owns a car with a PL sticker proudly displayed on the back windshield and/or a custom-made European license place in the front (most likely with your name written on it)

2. You have relatives who aren't really your relatives
3. You sing the same song - “100 lat” - on every occasion (weddings, birthdays, baby showers)
4. You watch soccer
5. You know very well Pope John Paul II was Polish and his name was Karol, not Carol
6. You go to Midnight Mass every Christmas Eve and keep your Christmas tree up till February.
7. You drink your wodka straight
8. When you hurt yourself, you don't say "Ouch", you say, "Awwa"
9. You don’t feel the need to add an “s” to Pierogi because you know the word is already plural and it annoys you when others do. However, you still add 'y' to already plural english words... "chipsy", "dzinsy"
10. You are convinced your pets only understand Polish
11. You are forced to listen to Disco Polo by your parents
12. You can spot Polish people like Asians can spot each other
13. When others find out you're Polish, they tell you about every Polish person they've ever known, which is most likely followed by them mispronouncing common phrases such as “czesc” or “dziekuje”
14. Your name always gets slaughtered on the first day of school
15. The thought of eating cow stomach (flaki) doesn’t gross you out
16. When you're at a stranger's house, you expect their garbage can to be under the sink
17. Every window in your house must have "firanki", even in the bathroom
18. Once in a while, you do a big "przemeblowanie" at home
19. You always take off your shoes as soon as you step into someone else's house (even if the owner of the house insists you don't have to)
20. You celebrate your birthday AND your nameday, "imieniny"
21. You were extremely surprised to learn that weddings in other countries last hours, not days
22. When you start making up extra verses and remixes to Sto Lat, and you end up singing for 10 minutes
23. You ask for Gratis where ever you go
24. Your mamusia asks you to reuse your teabags.
25. You boast about receiving your Christmas presents one day before the rest of the world.
26. One of your older female relatives has orange/pink/purplish dyed hair and thinks they can get away with it.
27. Half a glass of vodka is a shot.
28. Your grandpa let you play with a knife/rifle/grenade he kept from the war.
29. The amount of food your family consumes over christmas could feed a Sudanese village for a decade.
30. You ever had a live carp in your bathtub.
31. Your father's friend can fix anything with a piece chicken wire and ducktape.
32. Your parents bring their own "kapcie" when going to visit friends or family.
33. You think that sour milk tastes good.
34. You eat smalec (molten pork lard) thickly spread on a slice of bread and think its good for you.
35. You think jagermeister tastes like kid's cough syrup
36. When u hang ur laundry on ur balcony.
37. You might be Polish if you know what czernina is (duck blood soup).
38. You may be Polish if you call your cat 'kici kici' instead of 'kitty kitty'.
39. You don't think a 'baranek z masla"(a sheep figure made of butter) is in any way odd or weird.
40. When you dont know what to say, you dont say "um", you say "y y y y..."
41. Your mother and grama constantly forcefeed your friends and wen they
say that they're ok cuz they're not hungry your mom pretends not to hear them.
42. Your parents think that if you don't say good morning in the morning it's very disrespectful.
43. You know you're Polish if your president has a twin brother
44. Sometime in your life when you were sick you had one of these 2 remedies: hot milk with butter and garlic or syrop z cebuli (onions with sugar).
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